The Fall (or how I took an accidental 24 weeks pregnant stage dive in Italy!!)

As most of you will know I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. Last weekend I was on tour with gig dates in Italy and unfortunately on the Sunday eve I had a nasty fall from stage. The stage was 1.5 meters and the floor surface I fell onto was tiled with no give. I'd just climbed the stairs onto it ready for my sound check and a combination of my big baby bump and not seeing my feet and the lights in my eyes not seeing anything beyond just totally misjudged my footing and stepped out over the edge. I managed to twist as I fell and landed on my hip and back but fortunately not the baby bump, pins and needles through my legs instantly I knew it was a bad fall, and the terror that something had happened to the baby was immense. As I looked up at the various faces that surrounded me as they discussed calling for the ambulance, the first words that I spoke were in Italian and simply Bambino- amazing the way the survival instincts kick in and the brain choosing Italian rather than English in the desire to communicate the most important thing at that moment- the welfare of the baby… During the wait for the ambulance sensation came back into my legs and I found that though I could barely walk I could at least move them…

Rushed to hospital the Italians looked after me brilliantly. The relief when the paramedics found the baby’s heart beat on the way was indescribable. I was seen straight away by a obstetrician, then catheterized (as I couldn’t walk anywhere) then wheeled in to see a neurologist and both were able to confirm after thorough tests that the baby was fine and that my spine was also OK, however they were still keen to X-ray and for me to be seen by orthopedics as they possible suspected fractures to the hip and or back. A motorcycle accident however prevented me from having X-rays at that time and so I was taken to a small room in the maternity ward to spend the night.

During that time I’d had the moral support of my Welsh touring companion and good friend Dylan Fowler as well as Italian musician Stefano Giacconne who was hosting and performing with us as well as the lovely Sonia Ponzo a local photographer who had been on hand to document the gig. Stefano and Sonia translating everything for me was very reassuring and Dylan had the awful job of phoning Bill back in Cardiff to let him know what was happening.

The hospital staff brought me pain killers and told me that they were keen for me to stay with them a further 3 or 4 days. Here was a dilemma. I was due to fly back to Cardiff the following day with Dylan, who himself had to be in Germany 2days after. Further complicated was that my poor husband Bill in Cardiff is about to undergo major reconstruction surgery after and injury in his right had and is unable to drive distances at present making travel arrangements a little more tricky (though of course he was willing to do everything in his power to get there ASAP!) 

As I lay in my bed wondering what the best options were, relieved that the baby was fine but in lots of pain. I decided that if in the morning the Drs could again confirm that travelling wouldn't harm the baby and that any injury to me was orthopaedic and not neurological then I would discharge myself and get back to Cardiff and go straight to hospital there for the continued treatment, as it would mean that I wouldn't be on my own in a foreign land (even though everyone was so kind and good and supportive) , but in an English speaking environment and most importantly with my husband as soon as I could be. Decision made I reached for my iPod scrolled through the A’s and put on Abigail Washburn’s City of Refuge album. It was just what I needed to hear! The music transported me to another place that was beautiful uplifting and comforting and welcome distraction indeed! As track 3 'Bring Me My Queen' began to play the tears rolled down my face- it felt so affirming and spiritual, like a prayer, calling to the deep parts of myself, to awaken and just bring me my own queen and I'll be able to do what I need to do and find the strength to travel and make it back home the next day… the morning came with the words of the final track "Day Is A Breaking In My Soul' . As music is my job I am a strong believer in the power that it has to connect and inspire and transcend and heal, and the experience of those songs at that moment of crisis has been a very real reminder to me of those qualities that the moments of a song can bring.

Morning came, I managed to sit up in bed and eat the breakfast brought in and was then wheeled for more checks. Dylan and Stefano arrived and I told hem my thoughts re discharging myself. We didn’t have much time- the journey from the hospital to the airport was 3 hours and we had to be there by 12.00 if we were going to make it in time for the flight. At this stage it hadn’t occurred to me that I hadn’t actually walked since the ambulance had arrived after the accident. I just knew I could move my legs and that my spine didn’t have any neurological damage so assumed that meant I could walk. Wheeled in to see the Obstetrician The Dr and staff confirmed again that the baby was fine, said from their perspective that they would like me stay but understood my desire to get back asap- gave me pain killers and I discharged myself. The moment of truth. I tried to stand up to dress myself and found the pain shooting through my legs and managed a tiny step feeling like the pain was going to make me throw up. The kindly lady who was sharing the room with me offered help (she was attached to a drip and looked very unwell herself!) I realized if I couldn’t manage to get my jeans back on then how was I going to travel home and suddenly I wondered if I could do it at all. My room mate called Dylan and Stefano back into the room and I said something along the lines of this is really bad, I’m not sure if I can do this… The clock was ticking to get to the airport though and recalling the strength and peace I’d felt the night before made the split decision to just do it. So sent Stefano for the car while Dylan re packed my bag and then barely able to walk apart from a slow weak shuffle held up by Dylan began the journey…

It was difficult. The baby kept on kicking which was very re-assuring. We sorted wheelchairs for the airports either side made the 3 hour drive from hospital to Milan, then the 3 hour drive from Gatwick to Cardiff (Easy-jet had in the meantime left my bag behind- it was an inevitability really! But at least it wasn’t my guitar which we took on board) Then in Cardiff I was met by Bill and our good friend Becky who was being driver due to Bills hand injury and went straight to our local hospital, where we spent the next 12 hours in the hands of many other Drs and finally arrived home on Tuesday. (Verdict being severe muscle spasms in legs and a likely small fracture in hip but they decided against X-rays as they would be harmful to the baby)

In those 48 hours between the fall at 5pm on Sunday eve and getting home at 9am Tuesday morning I had amassed the grand total of 1 hours sleep!!

It was quite an experience… I am sincerely thankful for the selfless support and kindness of all the lovely Italian hospital staff and musicians, the beautiful Sonia Ponzo, the fantastic Stefano Giaccone and my rock solid and brilliant friend Dylan Fowler.

10 days later…. 

It has been such a relief to be home with Bill! The baby continues to be well however I’ve had a few more complications as am now in the care of the Maternity physiotherapy unit at the hospital who have identified further problems with my hip. So many lovely folks have been in touch asking for updates and offering support so below is the copy of my latest email update about it all…

Bill and I are both well in spirit but rather rubbish in body at the moment!! (Though the baby is fine and well)

I've just returned from the physio and have a whole new paradigm to get my head round. My general mobility has improved from being unable to walk to hobbling on crutches and the bruising and swelling are progressing as they should while most muscle spasms have eased however there are further complications that the physio has identified that need to be addressed...

The fall in Italy has resulted in my left hip being out of line and higher than the right one. Muscle tightness and inflammation are pushing it up- so I begin hydro-therapy for general muscle work to try and loosen it every wednesday from now on in the pool at the Heath Hospital- I won't start my actual physio treatment until I am a little more mobile as it will get worse before it gets better etc…

Because of pregnancy and the fact that the area most effected by the fall is my pelvic area, I will now be unable to do things like push a shopping trolley, lift, hoover or mop, drive, walk the dog etc… until 2 months after having given birth (they treat it like if you've had a caesarian) Though I may be able to drive sooner but will need ok from dr in order to be covered by any insurance…

This all further complicated by the fact that Bill is due for his hand surgery on the 30th May and will also be unable to lift/ walk dog/ drive/ etc… 

In the light of this we have decided that its best to cancel and postpone upcoming gig on 26th May/ as well as recording my EP from the 3-7 June and my new Counting The Waves show for its premier date July 6th… The physio seemed to think that the overall physicality of performing would be too much and we would hate to create setbacks that hinder recovery and health for giving birth...

There are also a lot of unknowns- as we don't know the impact that the baby will have on my now weakened pelvis/ back and hips as she grows, which may hinder my recovery- … we also don't know how Bill will respond to surgery- the healing and rehabilitation for him is very dependent on how his body responds to the metal wiring and pins and whether it rejects it or not… 

I am currently looking in to getting cleaners and dog walkers and friends on board to help us manage these next weeks… and lots of folks have been very kind in offering etc.. which is great ( I guess we have the pathetic sympathy vote- crippled husband with his pregnant wife of crutches!!)

Huge thanks for all your messages of support and concern

Rachel x

Bring Me My Queen By Abigail Washburn